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Planning Together for End of Life

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Directive

July 27, 2018 By Deborah Luscomb

How do you want to die?  Since death is certain, it might be good to consider the possibilities.

Do you want to die at home?  Or in a forest?  Or on the high seas?

While cooking?  Skydiving?  Making love?

Do you want to be alone?  With family or friends?  Hooked up to life saving machines, surrounded by strangers?

Think about it.  Then talk about it.  Then write it down, and share it with those who care.  That’s called a directive.

There are many names for this document.  Advance Directive is common.  In Nova Scotia, Personal Health Care Directive is used.  The name is not important.  The contents are.

Unless you contemplate, discuss, and document your end-of-life wishes, and choose a delegate (someone to speak for you if and when you are unable), there is no reason to expect that anyone will know what you want.

And putting it off is equally foolish.  Death comes without warning.  If you are lucky, it will not come until you are old and frail and ready to go.  But, as we know, every day many folks die unexpectedly… and in bizarre circumstances.

Do not continue to move this task to the bottom of your list.  You may need your directive TODAY.

Filed Under: The "D" Word

Deception

July 22, 2018 By Deborah Luscomb

Are we living under a cloud of deception?  Is the pretense of ‘immortality’ serving us?  Can we really be happy with newer stuff?  With the latest apps?  Or flitting from one trend to the next?  Having more friends on FaceBook?

Not embracing our shared mortality for even a moment may cause us to stray from the truth.  All experience, no matter how profound, is temporary.  So how can we know that we are not deceiving ourselves?  What is mortality anyway?

Unfortunately, Merriam-Webster is not all that helpful – ‘the quality or state of being mortal’.  Being mortal means being subject to death, to the temporariness of our condition – at any time, in any moment.  Nothing stays the same.  Thoughts come and go.  Feelings, no matter how intense, arise and cease (eventually).  Our friends morph into our enemies – or vice versa.  Even the idea that this is a sad state of affairs will pass.  We are blessed with continuous opportunities to develop appreciation.  

Perhaps getting used to this reality now is good practice for the seemingly enormous change that comes when it is time to give up our body…. this mortal existence.  

Filed Under: The "D" Word

Discovery

July 16, 2018 By Deborah Luscomb

Now is the time in one’s life to make discoveries.  Now is always the time… for most things.  The past is no longer here…. and, try as we might, we cannot change it.  The future has not yet arrived, and, though we make plans, we know that those plans are tentative, and that, despite our best efforts, everything changes.  Often unexpectedly.

So what is to be discovered now?  And how do we go about it?

Perhaps in each moment the experience of a lifetime can be discovered …. infinite beauty and delight…. boundless appreciation… love.  What happens if we stay still for this moment and simply notice what we see, hear, smell, taste, feel…. fully…. without commentary, judgment, analysis?  Perhaps a discovery!

This habit – of being fully present and appreciative – will serve us well at the time of death.

Filed Under: The "D" Word

Dead

July 6, 2018 By Deborah Luscomb

The dreaded “d” word.  The word we find ourselves unable to use.  In lieu of “dead”, we say…. bite the dust, bought the farm, cash in one’s chips, departed, expired, gave up the ghost, gone to meet one’s maker, immortally challenged, in a better place, kicked the bucket, living-impaired, no longer with us, passed away, pushing up daisies, resting in peace, shuffled off this mortal coil, six feet under, with the angels, and many more euphemisms.

Anything but “dead”!

Go ahead… practice saying it out loud… “dead… dead…  dead”.

Saying the word won’t kill you.  In fact, getting familiar with the idea that becoming dead is inevitable may just bring renewed appreciation to every moment of your life!

Filed Under: The "D" Word

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The “D” Word

DIAPERS

Here is a thing to consider… you in diapers again.  When people are contemplating their end-of-life plans (and there aren’t enough of you doing that) a common marker is whether you can manage to take yourself to the bathroom or not.  Sometimes folks ...

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