Deathcaring: Reclaiming Death as Part of Life

by Dawn Carson

Deathcaring is a cultural movement rooted in the idea that death belongs in the heart of community life. Rather than leaving care for the dying and dead solely to professionals and institutions, it invites us to return to more personal, participatory ways of facing the end of life—together.

At its core, Deathcaring is about reclaiming death as a natural, meaningful, and even transformative part of living. It encourages open conversations, thoughtful planning, and community-based support for the dying, the dead, and the bereaved. This approach not only honours the person who is dying but also supports the wider circle of family, friends, and community.

It also emphasizes cultural and ecological renewal. By re-engaging with traditional and sustainable practices, Deathcaring fosters a relationship with death that is holistic and environmentally conscious. It recognizes that how we care for our dead reflects how we care for life.

Deathcaring encourages people to plan, too ask questions, and too understand their rights and options. It empowers individuals and families to take an active role in deathcare, whether that means sitting vigil, preparing the body, or creating rituals that reflect their values and beliefs.

Ultimately, Deathcaring envisions a culture where death is no longer feared or hidden but embraced as an honoured part of life. It’s about showing up—with compassion, courage, and care—at one of life’s most sacred thresholds. Death matters.

Destination

by Kelsey Ermers

“Where are you headed today?”
“Where do you see yourself in five years?”
“Where do you want to live?”
“What do you want to achieve?”

These everyday questions are all about destination. Life is full of them—some grand, others modest. We mark our calendars with them. We make plans. We prepare. Whether it’s getting to work on time, planning a big move, graduating, becoming a parent, or entering retirement, destinations are how we map meaning onto the unfolding of our lives.

But there’s one destination we all share—one we rarely talk about or prepare for: death.

We don’t know exactly when or how we’ll arrive at this destination, but we do know it’s coming. And that simple truth opens the door to a powerful question: What if we treated death as just another destination—one worthy of our curiosity, care, and attention?

At Death Matters, we believe that your last chapter deserves the same intention as all the others. Because when you reach that final threshold, you don’t just disappear—you become memory, story, legacy.

Our Exit Planning workshops are designed to help you explore this destination with courage and clarity. Over three thoughtful sessions, you’ll reflect on what a good death means to you, and begin shaping the documents and decisions that bring your vision into being.

You’ll ask:

• What matters most at the end of life?
• How do I want to be remembered?
• What legacy am I leaving behind?

These aren’t grim questions. They’re grounding ones. Because when we think of death not as an erasure, but as a sacred homecoming, we begin to live with more depth, more love, more intention.

Imagine arriving at the end not with fear, but with readiness. Not with regret, but with peace.
What if your final destination could feel like coming home?

How Deep Should You Be Buried? (Not a Trick Question)

If you’ve ever asked yourself, “How deep should I be buried when I die?”—Congratulations, you’re officially fun at parties and thinking ahead.

The answer might surprise you: three to four feet. That’s it. Not six feet under. Not entombed in a concrete bunker like a vampire no one trusts. Just a cozy, breathable, dirt-rich three to four feet.

Why? Well, for most of human history, burial meant placing a shrouded, unembalmed body into a simple hole in the ground. No metal casket. No concrete vault. No makeup that makes you look like a wax figure at Madame Tussauds. Just you and the earth, reconnecting the old-fashioned way.

Then the 20th century came along and said, “Wait, what if we wrapped the dead in steel, pickled them in chemicals, and locked them in a concrete box?” (To which the planet responded: “Please don’t.”)

Each year in Canada, traditional burials consume approximately 4,500 litres of formaldehyde-based embalming fluid, 97 tonnes of steel, 2,000 tonnes of concrete, and 56,000 board feet of tropical hardwood per acre of cemetery space. These figures highlight the substantial environmental impact of conventional burial practices. That’s not a burial—it’s a construction project.

Green burial flips that script. And here’s where the magic of 3-4 feet comes in:

 It’s All About the Oxygen

• At this shallower depth, you’re in the aerobic zone—where oxygen-loving microbes do their best work turning you into excellent compost. It’s decomposition with flair.

The Soil is Happier Here

• This is where the richest, most biologically active soil lives. It’s like the VIP section for decomposition: warm, lively, and full of beneficial insects ready to help you transition back into the web of life.

 No Need to Worry About Wildlife

• Three to four feet is also deep enough to deter most curious critters. No raccoons invited. Just nature’s clean-up crew—like carrion beetles—who’ve been doing this job way longer than any funeral director.

And It’s Existentially Grounding (Pun Intended)

• There’s something humbling and even joyful about knowing you’ll one day feed a tree. Embracing decay can actually be an ecstatic reminder that you’re alive now. Breath in your lungs. Blood in your veins. Feet on the earth—until you’re in it.

So next time someone asks, “Six feet under, right?”, feel free to smile and say, “Actually, I’m going green. Just three to four feet will do.”

And then watch their face as they slowly realize you’re being totally, natural.

Decisions

by Katherine Gyles

Life has a way of shifting our priorities—often without warning. A terminal diagnosis may suddenly demand medical decisions, family conversations, and treatment planning. A decline in mobility might prompt a move or the need for new support’s. The loss of a beloved partner could bring the challenge of navigating life alone. What do all these moments have in common? Decisions.

The best decisions—the ones that sit right in your bones—come from exploring your options, weighing what matters most, and reflecting deeply on your values, health, and lifestyle needs.

Some people turn to healthcare providers for guidance. Others seek out legal, financial, or end-of-life advisors. Increasingly, individuals are also turning to death doulas—trained professionals who provide non-medical, holistic support through dying, death, and grief. A death doula can help you and your loved ones navigate complex emotional, spiritual, and practical terrain, ensuring your decisions reflect who you are and how you wish to be cared for.

Trusted family members and close friends often play a vital role too, acting as sounding boards and support systems.

In the end, it’s up to you to make the small and large decisions—choices you can stand by and find peace with. Ideally, these decisions are written down to ensure clarity, follow-through, and flexibility as your circumstances evolve.

So, how prepared are you for life’s next curveball? Are you clear on the values and preferences that guide your choices? Do you have a trusted circle—including professionals like death doulas—ready to support you?

We’re here to help you build a plan that brings confidence—and calm—in the face of whatever comes next.

Dollars 
Ah, money – that little paper or shiny metal that keeps everything moving, even if it feels like it’s always slipping through your fingers when you need it most. In Canada, hospital visits are free (yay!), but everything else – from medications to the cost of dying and funeral arrangements – can feel like you’re suddenly signed up for a VIP package you didn’t ask for. The extras? They sure add up fast. But don’t panic – we’ve got you covered with a sliding scale for our service fees because no one should have to choose between dignity and their bank balance. Pay what you can, when you can! We believe everyone deserves access to compassionate, respectful end-of-life services, regardless of how many “Dollars” are sitting in the bank. So, we offer a sliding scale based on the household income of the person who has died and/or the person responsible for payment at the time of death. This way, we can ensure families of all incomes can make dignified choices during such a challenging time. And while we’re on the subject of “Dollars,” let’s also take a moment to appreciate the real treasure: our service providers. These amazing folks pour their time, energy, and expertise into making this transition as smooth and peaceful as possible.  They give their hearts at life’s final threshold —honour their gift by giving what you can.